Friday, September 21, 2012

Challenge Week 3: Muffin Tops and Music

This week's theme is muffin tops and music.  I don't have a muffin top, I have a bakery.  Oh wait, I was supposed to be nicer to myself.   Never mind.

As for music, I don't really listen to music when I exercise.  All day long I hear noise.  My kid or my kid pretending it's his stuffed Angry Birds and not him screaming, the TV, coworkers or the noise of a busy office...  By the end of the day I want to stick a letter opener into my eardrum because I just  cannot take the noise.  Remember the The Grinch?  All that noise, noise, noise!  Remember that's why he hated the Whos?  I get it.  I'd steal their Christmas too.  OK, maybe not, but I might mutter under my breath that I wish they would shut the eff up.  If you consult with my office-mate you'd find that all day long I'm audibly wishing people would shut up.  I bet it's really annoying for her.

My point on that tirade is that when I go out for my walk, I listen to nothing.  The background noise of cars or birds or pit bulls growling or squirrel fights is enough.  I do listen to the creepy robotic voice on MapMyWalk tell me how far I've gone and how long I've been walking, but sometimes I turn her down because she gets on my nerves, too.

When I was training for a 5K a many years ago, I listened to the Green Day album that was popular around the time, with that Batman song about the city streets.  I'm really bad with song names.  But it worked for my pace.  If I was going to treadmill train again I'd probably listen to that (on my portable CD player!) because I'm a creature of habit.

I've been sticking to my goals of no alcohol (none since 9/4) and not buying lunch or breakfast on weekdays.  I miss my friends at Chipotle and I think they miss me too.  I've been walking every day except Saturday, yesterday and today.  I'm really pissed about the last two days because I find it really irritating when my workload infringes upon my me time.

I'm going to come clean about numbers.  Really I'm coming clean about math skills.  Trying to be vague is making it harder to report progress.  Reporting progress helps to keep me on track and really what do I care if people know the number of pounds I am?  You can look at me and see I'm overweight, so I just decided it's silly to hide it.  My estimates were off in my original post because I can't do mental math, so here is the whole truth.

My healthy weight is between 98 and 128 pounds, depending on who you ask.  I'm just under 5' tall.  On Labor Day, I was 162.8.  Today I'm 157.4.  Two days ago I was 157, but don't tell anyone that I'm still weighing myself every day.

I haven't been 98 pounds since high school and I'm 36, so, um, no, that's not happening.  I was 128 when I found out I was pregnant in 2006 and I still felt like I could stand to lose another 5-10 pounds.  So I'm shooting for 120.  If I'm 125 in good shape (you know, muscle weight and all that jazz), then fine.  I know it isn't all about the numbers but I also know that without a goal weight, even a goal weight range, I'm going to stay where I am which is unacceptable.

I'm down 5.4 pounds.  At least I think I am, I'm too lazy to get a calculator.  To hit my goal, I have 37.4 pounds to lose.  There, now we're on the same page.

I reread this post and it sounds really grumpy.  I'm not going to change it and pretend that this isn't how I'm feeling.  I don't know if it's adjusting to a diet that doesn't include stress eating or a variety of other difficulties, but I am grumpy.  Maybe I'm grumpy from missing my walks.  Sorry for the TMI, but I'm ovulating and that makes me hormonal and grouchy.  (Anyone else get this?  I swear it's like I PMS twice a month.)  Normally I take out this aggression on food and the snack of apple slices and graham crackers I just had is just not anger management cuisine.  Give me a bowl of melted cheese and then we can talk.  Except don't give me a bowl of melted cheese because I need to lose 37.4 pounds.

I'm going to wrap this up.  My kid and I are going to go for a walk when he finishes his snack.  It's not going to be a real calorie burner, but it's better than sitting here complaining.

See you all in Week 4!

I'm linking up with Pish Posh for this Challenge, so go check it all out!


  1. I'm sorry you are grumpy. Is your new diet full of foods that supposedly increase your metabolism? Not that I know anything about that, but it makes sense. I admire your determination and commitment to a plan! I also had weight issues around your age, and even in recent years (thanks to wine) I was in the 130 area. Now I'm what Jenny calls scary skinny, but I like it. And I remember you mom had a skinny phase when she was working at Prime. So don't give up, I think it has more to do with your "stage of life" than your plan possibly failing. Slow weight loss is the kind that doesn't come back. Oh and you are beautiful no matter what!
    PS, i hear ya on the noise thing

    1. I'm not hungry, I'm just not loaded up with cheese all day. I've been eating well, reasonable meals, well spaced with snacks and normal dinners. But I ate unreasonably for so long that this new way is making me cranky. Scary skinny. I wish someone would call me that ;) My mother lost all that weight on the cabbage soup diet and stress. I think I'd die if I tried that diet! I know I'm doing it the right way, I just wish the right way was faster. And cheesier.

      And thank you :)

    2. You can do it. I have to get used to my successful diet again, and make it my default. I hope you don't mean to lose all that in 8 weeks, though.

    3. While I wish so much that it was possible to lose 60 pounds in 8 weeks, I know it isn't. 10-15 would be really nice though and probably a bit more realistic :)

  2. I don't know if it's because we both start with "M"s or that all my life people have thought I was a "Michelle" but girlfriend, we were cut from the same cloth. It's slightly crazy. Get this: I'm 38. That's basically 36. You started your journey on Labor Day. I started my journey the same day. I am 5' 7" (alright, fine, we might not match up on that one). I started out at 170.8 lbs. I am now at 164.8 lbs. I am down 6 lbs, too. I'm shooting for 135 in good shape. And? I love cheese. And another thing? I TOTALLY have ovulation symptoms. DUDE. I HEAR YOU. And yet another thing? I weigh myself every day, too. And lastly? Did I mention the cheese? You go, girl. WE can do this....

    1. It is so funny that you commented this because I just read one of your posts the other night and was thinking that you must be my long lost twin! I can't remember which post and it was late and I hate commenting from my phone but now I have to find it and catch up. I think it was the one about the chicken.

      Melisa is such a better name than Michelle, I'm so sorry people call you that ;) I used to want to change my name to that and my mother wouldn't let me, go figure.

      We CAN do this. You rock!

      Mmmm. Cheese.

  3. I think you are doing GREAT! I have been cutting out alcohol during the week but so far it's just too hard to give up wine on the weekends (for me and the husband). For now, we are hoping to keep the weekend wine and reach our fitness goals. I know, probably wishful thinking. But we are kind of living by the 90/10 rule!

    Keep up the great work, you can definitely do this!

    1. Thanks Stacie! Depending on how many glasses you have and how you do the rest of the time, you might still be able to do it with wine during the week. My problem is I tend to make poor eating choices if I drink and I also don't just have one so it just exacerbates a larger problem. It's easier for me to have none than to be moderate. And the 90/10 is a good rule. I'm eating whatever I want for dinner and on weekends and trying to be reasonable. I could lose more faster, but I feel like this is slower and less dramatic. Might need to kick it up a notch though soon. Thanks for the encouragement!

  4. Grumpy or not it sounds like you are doing great at your goals. I hear you on the ovulation salt cravings. The other day I downed a crap load of salt and vinegar chips despite the fact I shouldnt eat that crud with my broken butthole! Well good job on the numbers and I hope you hit your weight range.

    Yay!! 5 something lbs (I dont do math either) Woot!

    1. mmmmm. Salt and vinegar chips... that sounds so good. Yeah, you probably shouldn't eat those though :)

      Thanks for the encouragement!

  5. You are doing good! Even with the grumps and work hassles, you are still doing well. You have weight to lose, but it's possible and you will do it!!

    Sending postive thoughts for a successful, less stressful week!

    1. On the one hand, I really do feel like I'm doing well. I'm losing at a reasonable rate, I'm doing it in a healthful way and I'm not going overboard, which is something I tend to do. I'm making bigger life changes that could last forever and will help me to keep the weight off.

      But then I get overwhelmed with the idea of forever (I'll have to work on not being fat forever.) and on the permanency of my habits (I will never again be able to go to Chipotle 3 times in 5 days.). I know it's the right thing to do but it makes me sad. I guess I'm grieving for my burritos.

      Thanks for the good wishes!!

  6. I appreciate your honesty! Hey just be self honest. Is checking every day helping you stay accountable - or helping you obsess? It works for some people.

    I am 5'2" and I will kiss my own shoes if I get back down to 120. I was 118 when I worked out 2 hours a day doing martial arts. I was 123 when I worked out a lot but with no martial arts. So I'm a little bit taller than you. Do you think maybe 130 may be like an amazing goal for you? I don't remember how old you are but I think you are my age. I'm okay with 125 at this point. I don't think its really practical for me to be 118 right now, and at this age, at least not right now - and I want to give myself attainable goals.

    I also think that just enjoying the peace and quiet, and me-time, and getting physical every day is going to stop us from stress-eating, and stress-drinking, and just de-stress us which really kills that nasty cortisol shite.

    Thinking good thoughts for you. I'm really proud of how well you are doing!!

    1. Checking my weight is a little bit of both. If I like what I see, it's a nice pat on the back. If I don't? Well, then there's the same spiral of self-loathing to deal with. I need therapy.

      We are the same age. And yes, I'm comparing my weight to what it was at the end of my 20s. I think you are right that a little bit of pound because of being in my (gasp) mid-to-late 30s and having had a child really isn't unreasonable. I did at least acknowledge that there's no way I can get back to 100 pounds.

      As for the 130, it's tempting because it's a nice round number. But I'm one of those people for whom the 2 pound difference between a round number and "technically" being overweight will wreak havoc on my psyche. I told you, I need professional help. Split the difference and say 129? Nope, I'm still crazy ;)

      130 would be an amazing goal. And hopefully not the last one. Right now I'd just like to get back to the 140s.

      The walking, while hard to get in some days, is doing great things for my mood and giving me time to think and destress a bit. Thanks for the good thoughts. They help a lot.

  7. So sorry it took me so long to get over here, but I am SO proud of you, Michelle! Your numeric honesty, your emotional honesty and your genuine nature makes you a pleasure to read, regardless whether Mr. Grinch is in the house too. it's all part of the journey, what you're going through. I too, am sensitive to noise overload, so I hear you on that. So, be grumpy all you want. We're here, and we're not going anywhere. Hugs to you! :)