Sunday, December 14, 2008

December update

I don't know how I thought I would update this every day. That was ridiculous.

Well, for all of my progress during the month, it's the holidays and I've taken steps back too. I had to stock up on some food for Christmas dinner, I've eaten out more than I've wanted to from being tired, etc. But I suppose being aware of what I'm doing is helpful, right? Right?

Anyway, I've started formulating my resolutions for the year. I'm trying not to set the bar too high like I usually do. Usually I vow to lose like 30 lbs or something by my birthday and I think I'm going to go with a more casual lose 15lbs. The sooner the better, for obvious health reasons, butI think that 15 is more realistic and without a date I can focus on lifestyle changes as opposed to trying to drop weight fast only to put it on again later. In conjunction, I'm going to work towards exercising 1 time per week. I know it's not much, but it's a start.

My other goals surround the house - save more/spend less, get organized and get the house ready to go on the market. Not that we're going to sell any time soon, but we can't list it like it is and I'd rather make the decision to sell whenever I want rather than put it off to get the house in order. I'm hoping if I change my thought process it'll be easier to get these goals. Let's face it - I make the same ones every year anyway!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Looking forward to December

I haven't posted a blog in a long time. October and November weren't my favorite months so I'm happy they are over (OK, I have 11 hours left in November. I'd wonder what could go wrong in 11 hours, but that's only asking for trouble.).

Now it's almost December. I've got a busy few weeks ahead at work, the holidays are coming and Nathan's 2nd birthday follows shortly behind all that. Plus I've got a lot of things around the house that need straightening out. I'm going to attempt to inspire myself by making December a month of preparation - for all the aforementioned stuff, as well as the things in my life that need changing.

I really don't see myself getting to my goal of getting rid of 2008 things by the end of 2008. I guess I'll abandon that one. But I have a new goal (I always have new goals. Never accomplish them, always making them...). The new goal is to buy as few groceries and take out meals as possible in December. I just looked through the closests, fridge and freezer and I have enough stuff to eat for at least half the month. The rest of the month I probably have about 2/3 of a meal there, just need some stuff to fill in the blanks.

I feel like my mind is always cluttered up with a bunch of nonsense. If I can get rid of that, I should think it would be easier to think about stuff that matters, stay on top of the things that need to be done and often aren't and start to enjoy the rest of the stuff. It only seems right.

I want 2009 to be a year of simplification - getting down to basics, getting my diet under control, decluttering my house, not being so stressed about work, etc. But I've got to think these things through. I need to have a plan so that I don't fail at them all yet again.

I will spend the rest of today cleaning up the house, getting ready for December 1. I have to make some lists - what's left for Christmas, a to-do for work, some other projects I need to close this month. Then if I still have the energy, I'll get to work on something. A few minutes a day, every day, for 31 days - that HAS to be enough to get some stuff crossed off the list. It just has to be.

I'm going to try to post every day whatever I got done. If anyone is actually reading this, some encouragement would be really cool. Somehow I feel like it would help. Here goes nothing...

Thursday, October 9, 2008

I am amazed by some people

I just don't understand how some people can act the way they do and still sleep at night. I don't get how some people can be so awful. To go into specifics would be to air a little more dirty laundry than I think I should right now, but suffice it to say that some people are just rotten. And I'll never understand how some people can lie right to you and pretend that you mean more to them than you do. I will never understand how you can have someone in your life that you claim to care about and then throw them away like a paper cup.

I will never understand why I mean so little to people that I should mean so much to.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Sunday 9/28

First of all, let me get this out of the way:
1 bag of sweaters, 3 pairs of shoes, 2 bags of disgusting frozen vegetables, 5 evil nutrisystem items. That's 11, bringing my total to 65/2008. I've decided to scrap the idea of counting things against me that I bring in, b/c it's just not realistic to keep track of. So there.

We just got back from a lovely weekend away in beautiful CT. We gambled and I played black jack for the first time. It was fun - much better than slots. I wish I had played it sooner. And we actually came home slightly ahead, which was nice. Normally we're down, I don't think we even usually broke even.

Now I'm sick, so is Kris. Nathan is just getting over his cold. He is going to school tomorrow though. After being out last week, I'm sure it won't be pretty. But he must go and I must work.

And now I must get some things done. I knew I'd be paying for my few days off and I was right.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I have discarded more things.

I cleaned out the pantry and fridge today. I know, this is so terribly exciting. Why am I even blogging this? Who gives a shit? Anyway, I'm adding another 25 items between the cleaning I did, a large pile of expired coupons and 1 pile of old receipts. Yay, I am now at 54/2008 items.

And for the record, this only took me about 5 minutes to blog. 4 minutes were spent trying to figure out what 25 plus 29 was.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Gotta get the crap out of my house

Last year I spent many months doing decluttering challenges. I basically would set an arbitrary number of things that needed to be removed from the house by a certain deadline. It worked well, I cleaned up, organized things, used up stuff that has been hanging out too long. Using up pantry food counted, donating, selling, throwing things away, they all counted. I didn't count stupid things - like I used 1 tea bag - but I will count the frozen chicken that's been there for 6 months waiting to be eaten. I haven't done one since around December of last year, so I thought it would be good motivation to start again. There have been some positive happenings that look like our move could possibly happen some time in the next year or so, and I must get this house in order. Not only does it need to be neat to sell, but everything in it has to be moved. Thus, I'd like a lot less things in it.

So I've set the (arbitrary) goal of 2008 things out by the end of 2008. But I'm going to step it up. Everything I bring in that is not a necessity will count against me. For example, a container of milk won't count against me, but a new pair of shoes will. Buying a new box of Cheerios won't count against me, but buying 10 on a good sale (yes, I almost did that the other day) will have 9 counts against me, assuming I needed that first box. No more stocking up the pantry and freezer as though we will never go shopping again.

The other rule is not hard and fast, but I'll try to stick to it. Today I've gotten rid of baby clothes. Instead of saying 50 items, I'll say one bag. I won't say 200 sheets of paper, I'll say one pile of paper clutter. I'm not going to waste time counting every little thing. That's silly.

The goal is to get the garbage out, the excess out, the clutter decluttered and the stuff set aside to be sold actually sold.

Here is the tally so far:

1 large bag of baby clothes
15 pieces of outdated make up
5 pairs of eyeglasses
6 eyeglass cases
2 mutilated highlighters

29 items out.

Enough procrastinating now, I have to get back to work.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Today's thoughts

Today I'm thinking that it would be really nice if for once things worked out in my favor. If just once people gave me the kind of attention that I would give to them. If I could be someone's priority. I feel like I am never anyone's number one priority. More often than not, I am not my own priority. Is it possible that some people just aren't priorities to anyone? I call or email people, they don't get back to me. If I do this to someone, I feel enormously guilty. Somehow I doubt that somewhere someone is thinking, "Oh shit, I forgot to call Michelle back". Even though I can count several people off the top of my head that owe me a phone call, my phone is not ringing. Emails are not piling up in response to ones that I have sent out.

And it seems like all I do, day in and day out, is something for someone else. I realize that it's hard to lump in my job with that. They pay me to do stuff for them. But the fact remains that my NEEDS in that position are rarely considered, despite any reminders that are given out. I have people that expect things of me and even try to guilt me into doing more for them.

I can't blame my son, he's just a baby after all. His neediness should be the ONLY acceptable neediness. He is the only one who should be making demands on me without a care as to what I've already got going on, simply because he is too young. But I fear that he will get older and realize that I've got plenty of other things to do and still not care.

I'm off now to do a pile of stuff that I have no desire to do. Yay me!

Friday, August 22, 2008

The second blog, aka Friday August 22, 2008

There are two things that Nathan is not fond of doing unless I don't want him to be doing them: eating and sleeping.

It seems like he is only hungry right as we're about to leave the house. Because he never wants to eat a proper meal, I certainly don't want to discourage him from asking to eat a pear or 4 plums or whatever it is. However, had he eaten them the first 17 times I'd offered them when we weren't about to leave the house, that would have been ideal. But no, I'll pick up all the bags, my travel coffees (yes, that was plural on purpose), snacks, meals, etc. and only then will he ask to eat something.

Then there's the sleeping. Anyone who knows me knows that I've had issues with Nathan sleeping almost since day 1. Things are looking up. He sleeps about 10 hours, usually straight through. Of course, he sleeps from 6pm to 4am, which is not exactly desirable. It's nice to get some time at the end of the day to get stuff done, but I'm more of a morning person and I'd be much happier if he slept until 6 and I could get up at 5 to start the day before him. Again, I can deal with this and it's certainly better than when he was up every 2 hours every night.

But the napping! Today he's working on a 2 hour nap. I will be happy if it goes longer because he needs it, but at the same time, it's messing up my day. I had to stay in to wait for the building inspector who was to arrive between 9am and 3pm. If he got here early enough, I was going to go to my mother's and go grocery shopping. All of this revolved around Nathan's nap which I assumed would be a little later since he woke up later today. Not so - he went down at 10:45. If he sleeps even for another 30 minutes, it will be at least 2 before we can get out the door. I really don't feel like making the hour drive to my mother's and then the hour back in traffic. But if I don't go today, when can I go? And how much longer will I have to listen to the complaining about not visiting? Any other day, the kid would have been up until 12 or 1 and I could have put him in the car for the nap. But not today.

Then there's the other thing. I really need to clean the house, but since he's such a light sleeper, I certainly can't clean while he's sleeping or I'll wake him up. And waking him up is the worst thing ever because he is a grouch the rest of the day. No one wants that, especially me.

So I'm sitting here, eating my awful lunch (don't get fat, my friends, the resulting food is hardly worth it), wondering what I should try to get done while he finishes his nap. You know whatever I start, he'll wake up within moments of it. Then there's the whole thing of me not wanting to work... but that's for another blog.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The first blog.

I've been wanting to get back into writing lately. Since I spend the better part of my day talking to a toddler or enjoying the silence when he's sleeping, sometimes thoughts go rambling through my head that get stuck in there with no one to go to. So, I will blog them. And if no one reads them, that's fine. But maybe people will read them and that would be good too.

What will I write about? I've been EXTREMELY bothered by the idea that I will become one of those moms who only writes about how wonderful her child is. But I've decided that I must live with this - I am a mom and there's not much else going on here during the day. Sure, I could write about the joys of selling modular toy cars or working in the insurance industry, and perhaps one day I will. I am leaving this blog open for all types of thoughts going through my head.

For those of you (look at me, already assuming someone's reading this) who used to read my Myspace blog, I am going to attempt to be a little more of a grown up here and curtail my usage of the f-bomb and a few other words I'm fond of.

I've run out of thoughts for now. I'm sure I'll have more later.