A new season only means one thing for me, a new set of stuff to complain about! So here it is, my list of things I hate about summer.
1. Grilling. I like grilled food, but I don't like the act of grilling. You have to bring all the food outside, plus the cooking utensils, plus clean plates to put the grilled food on, then bring it back inside (unless you're eating outside, more on that later). Then when dinner is done, you still have to clean up the kitchen, but you have the added bonus of getting to clean up and cover the grill, too.
2. Eating outside. You know what likes your food as much as you do? Bugs. Bugs like to land on your food, even when you are about to put it in your mouth. And they say that every time a fly lands it pukes, so think about that.
3. Mosquito and gnat bites. Nothing looks hotter than seeing a grown woman in shorts with bug bites swelling up all over the place, right? Yeah, that's what I thought.
4. Yard work. In the winter, and even the spring and fall, I can ignore the bulk of the yard work. It's pretty hard in the summer though. We often have our kid or other people's kids playing out there, so it's imperative that we keep things mowed and trimmed.
5. Heat and humidity. I really, really don't like being cold. But I don't like being hot either. I would prefer to be at a comfortable temperature and have weather adjust itself according to my whims. Is that wrong? It has actually been pretty chilly around here lately, so I can't complain (well, I mean I CAN, but I shouldn't). Soon enough it will be 90+ days, with 90% humidity and we won't be able to breathe outside. Maybe I'd prefer a dry heat...
6. Air conditioners. You would think that with the oppressive heat here at times, I'd like some AC. However, you'd be wrong. I don't like the sound of ACs. Any kind of incessant humming drives me crazy. I hate putting them in the windows, I hate taking them out, I hate looking at them in the windows, I hate looking at them in my basement when they are out. I also hate that I don't have central air. So maybe there's just a smidge of jealousy in all of this.
7. My knees. I hate my knees year round, but by summer they are much harder to hide under pants.
8. Bees. They are scary. They could kill me (probably not). They caused a long standing joke. If you're lucky, you can watch me fall down running from one. It happens at least once ever summer.
9. Vacations. I like vacations, of course, but I want to be off all summer (yes, more jealousy), not just for a week. I also hate packing, which is one of the most anxiety producing things I can think of. In fact, it's 5 weeks until our summer vacation, which means it's 1 week until I have to start pre-packing.
10. Fireworks. I know by now you're just shaking your head, wondering just how miserable one woman could be. I like fireworks on the 4th, where they belong. There was already someone in my neighborhood shooting some off last night (that was June 22, if you don't feel like checking the post date). My husband and I had to ask the usual question, "Fireworks or gunshots?" Followed by the usual reply, "Fireworks, I think. I hope..." Followed by the other usual reply, "If they wake that kid up, I will kill them."
There are things I like about summer. Maybe if I'm feeling chipper one of these days I'll write about them.
In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy your summer. I'll try to enjoy mine.
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