Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Why People Bother Me.

As I approached the stop sign, there was already a car stopping at the sign.  He had his right turn signal on and, therefore, I stupidly assumed he was going to turn right.  As he turned, I inched up to the sign.  He stopped mid-turn, therefore I stopped.  Then he started to pull up again, but this time he was parallel to the road we were on and, in fact, NOT turning right on to the cross street.
So I very dramatically stopped my car (again), threw my hands up and said, "What are you doing?!"  It then became apparent that he was going to make a u-turn in the middle of this intersection.  So I, again, very dramatically, motioned for him to go while saying, "Oh no, please.  After you.  By all means."  
He pulled around and now he was next to me on the street facing the opposite direction.  I'm giving him dagger-eyes and I see that he has the audacity to be yelling at me.  I roll down my window and say, "Pardon me?"  It then goes something like this:
Him:  I had my directional on!  I was turning! (he gives me a what's-your-problem look)
Me:  And then you turned the opposite way in front of my car... (I give him a you-are-stupid look)
Him:  I was TURNING!!  I assumed you were turning too.  You didn't even have your directional on. 
Me:  Yeah, 'cause I *wasn't* turning. 
Him:  That's not my fault.
Me:  Huh? You were making an illegal turn and you're mad I was going straight?
Him:  (as he's pulling away)  Next time, pay attention!  Bitch.
Me:  (I cannot repeat here what I said next.)

I am still, hours later, in awe of the fact that this man actually yelled at me for not turning at an intersection when he had no reason to believe that I would and for getting annoyed when he was driving poorly and unsafely.  I should note here that I'm not morally opposed to illegal u-turns in intersections.  But, for the love of olive, understand that if you make one in the presence of someone else, they might get annoyed.
As I then drive the half block to my house (yes, that's right, he probably saw me pull into my driveway), I can't help but thinking that this fine gent looks familiar.  I grabbed my lunch, walked my dog and headed back out to work.  I drove back down the street from whence I came.  And then I see it.  His stupid car, parked at least a foot away from the curb, is over by the elementary school.  I realize where I know him from.  He's one of the guys who hangs out by the school playground talking with the teachers and watching the kids play on lunch*. 
As I drove by, I gave him the stink-eye again.  I'm sure he knew it was me.  I hope he's out there tomorrow, too, because I can hold a grudge like nobody's business.  You can't call me a bitch and get away with it**.

*I like to think these adults are unofficial chaperons and that this isn't really a big deal, especially since the teachers are there and the crossing guard is nearby and it all seems on the up and up.  However, I will be investigating before my kid goes there in the fall.

**I'm fully aware of how petty this is.  I will probably forget to look for him tomorrow.  But don't I sound tough?

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  1. I need an update. Have you killed this idiot yet?

    (I have a friend who can help us hide the body.)

  2. Not yet. But I did see him again recently and I gave him a squinty dirty look.