School Friends.

I think I'm way too anti-social and critical to deal with my child going to school for the next 13 years with the general public.  He's only in preschool and I'm already so tired of creepy kids and their creepy parents.  It is unlikely that many of the kids he's around right now will be in his kindergarten class in September, but unfortunately the parents and kids that I do like definitely will not be.

If you are my friend on Facebook, you've heard me tell of some of the priceless children he is hanging around.  There's one girl, we'll call her E.  I don't like the looks of her and I don't like her mother.  Quite frankly I suspect this child is learning her best work at home, but I can't be sure.  The first run in I had with this woman was last year when the kids were also in the same class.  I was dropping Nathan off and I see E being dropped off by her mother.  The kids were in the 3-4 year old class at the time and so of course they need a lot of guidance hanging up their coats and putting their backpacks away.  This woman is yelling at her kid that she's slow and taking too long and what not.  Then she was yelling at her because the kid couldn't decide if she wanted to go to the breakfast room to finish eating her Burger King or if she was just going to "waste more money" and not finish eating.

Now, we all have bad days and we all need our kids to hurry up so we can get to work.  But yelling?  In public?  Goodness.  So I assumed she was having a bad day and tried to forget it.  Poor kid though.  A few minutes later, I was in my car and and as I'm looking in my mirrors to check behind me, I see her getting in her car.

What I didn't mention, because it wasn't relevant until this moment for me, is that I saw this woman speeding through the parking lot as I was bringing Nathan in.  I couldn't help thinking that the driver was unsafe given this is a parking lot full of preschoolers.  Anyway, I was backing out and this woman was getting in her car and all of a sudden she nearly backs into me!!  She apparently got in and just went, couldn't have looked because she'd have seen me.  I slammed on my brakes, she looked me dead in the face and kept backing up.  I pulled back into the spot so she wouldn't hit me and she sped off like a crazy person nearly hitting someone on the way out.  That must have been one hell of a bad morning...

A few weeks later the girl was apparently not moving briskly enough for her mother once again after school and the mother left her to get her own backpack and coat because she started leaving without her child!  As the child raced to keep up, she tripped and fell, spilling the contents of her backpack all over the floor.  The mother yells from down the hall, "Oh come ON, E.  Pick up your stuff and LET'S GO."  And continues around the corner where now she can't even see the poor kid.  Who is crying now, mind you.  So I help her get her stuff, ask if she's ok (I knew she was, but still, someone had to ask.) and the mother sees me doing this because I realize she's come back into the hall.  She just looks at me again, no thank you, no checking on her kid.  Not even a sigh and a huff and a "These kids" sort of exasperation.  Nothing.  Just annoyance and a dirty look for me.  Classy.

Just last week, and forgive me if you heard this one before, I was informed that E's mother must really love her a lot because she packs a candy bar for E "all the time."  Nathan has previously asked for juices and cereals loaded with sugar and when I say no, they aren't for kids because they are junk, he says, "But E gets them all the time."  I let him know that when E's mother packs his lunch maybe he'll get to be so lucky.  Until then, it's 100% juice and not sweet snacks.

And today I'm treated to this gem of a story.  Apparently, E said a bad word.  Nathan told her it was bad and he said she didn't know that it was.  The word was boob.  I explained to Nathan it's not the worst thing someone could say, but they're called breasts and if he needs to talk about one, that's what I'd like him to say.  Then I asked why she was saying it and he said he didn't know, she was talking about them.  I reminded him that there really are very few reasons for kids to talk about certain body parts with other kids or out in public.  Thankfully he ran away before the conversation got more awkward. It was around the time I confirmed girls don't have them, but grown up women do and there's a reason for it.  Lucky for me he's not interested in the reason.

If this had been any other kid, I'd assume it was innocent, but not E.  I've met her mother.  Ick.  Like I said, poor kid.

If you'll indulge me in one more, there's A.  I really didn't know much about this kid and only became aware of who he was at Halloween when he was acting like a lunatic at a birthday party.  Kris and I were talking to another mom and we were commenting that we didn't know who he belonged to because no one was telling him how to act.  Apparently he had been dropped off.  These kids are 4!  I would never drop my kid off at a birthday party at the home of someone I didn't know!  The host said she was so surprised by the whole thing and didn't want to see the kid have to leave since the woman dropping him off had to go.

At the holiday show, I ran into the woman he belonged to.  We were talking generally about the kids when I said, "I think your son is in my son's class."  She abruptly informed me she is NOT his mother, just a friend.  She just drops him off and picks him up.  And apparently comes to his holiday show, but whatever.  I apologized, said I just assumed, stammered a bit because she made me feel like an ass.

I invited Nathan's entire class to his birthday party.  One of the first responses I got was from this woman who emailed me and referred to herself as his aunt.  Not that I'm keeping track or anything.  She says in the email A will be coming and asks if she can drop him off.  I tell her no, I would like someone to stay with the child for safety reasons.  I didn't mention that she doesn't know me from a can of paint and therefore shouldn't trust me with her kid her friend's kid  her nephew.  I also didn't mention that I don't want to be responsible for her whatever this kid is to her when he acts like an animal in public.  I didn't get a reply to my email.  At pick up I saw her and said I had gotten her email.  She said, and I'm not sure I will convey the tone appropriately here, "You don't expect me to, like, stay with him or anything, do you?"  I said I did, "just in case something happened."  She heaved a huge sigh and said, clearly annoyed, "OH.  I guess I could just try to get his mother to stay with him or something."  I said, "OK, take care!" and went to get my kid.

What I wanted to say was this:  You know what?  Don't come.  Just stay home.  Or send him out to play in traffic while you stay home since it's so much of a bother for you to sit with him at a birthday party for TWO HOURS!  Honestly, I didn't plan this party just so that I could provide you with a few hours to go do whatever it is you do when you're not with whoever this child is to you.

The next week I got an email from her saying she was oh so sorry but little A wouldn't be able to make it to the party.  He would "be with his other grandmother."  Other?  Is she his grandmother now?  I can't keep up.

I don't know where either of these children live, but with my luck, they live around the corner from me and I'll be seeing them both in September.

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