I have lots of ideas these days. Too many. The kind of ideas that keep me from doing what I should be doing, regardless of what that is. Could be the gemini in me that can't keep still and can't keep focused on the task at hand. I'm suffering from a general lack of enthusiasm for much of what I'm doing these days. I know in my head and heart that there is a better way. The better way is hard. The hard way and happy (hopefully) or the easy way and less happy, followed by disappointment in myself that I took the easy way out (again)... This is my daily thought process whether I realize it or not.
I'm hesitant to share any of it with anyone though. Most times that I do, I get questioned, I defend it, I plan more for it, I get caught up with some other unrelated drama, I forget about it. I appear wishy-washy and noncommittal. And isn't that exactly how one wants to be perceived?
I'm going to try something new. I'm going to tell you what I've done. As in actually accomplished. Then when I go back and read past posts (one of my favorite time wasters!), I can feel good about what I've done rather than follow it up with my second favorite hobby, tearing myself down.
Today I finally reduced one of my inboxes to a mere 19 emails. Some of them I should really just file away because they are more for reference, one is a reminder of something I desperately need to do (if I don't book a flight, it's going to be a long walk to San Diego!), and some are blogs that I really want to try out the suggestions of the author but just haven't gotten to. I decluttered the last of the Christmas themed ones this morning, that's how far back some of these emails went. The other day I also got my Google reader down to zero and even cut back some subscriptions. I checked it this weekend, read through what was new this week and cleared that out. Some subscriptions are officially on double-secret probation and have this next week to catch my interest or out they go.
This isn't terribly interesting to others probably, but it's important to me. It's hard for me to move on to Step 2 when the arbitrary Step 1 I've established isn't complete. It's ridiculous, but that's me. So Step 1 is done and now I can move on to Step 2.
Today's work on Step 2 (which I'm not revealing for fear of jinxing) is to go clean lettuce and write up a meal plan for the week. Since I intend to do this AS SOON AS this is published, I am confident that I might actually get it done.
With July 1 on the horizon and many of my New Year's Resolutions yet incomplete, I am resolving to work on some things, try to keep my mind on the bigger picture while focusing on the task at hand. If I'm cleaning lettuce, then I will give my all to that lettuce until it's clean. Then I'll move on to the next thing. Less multitasking, more actually getting something done instead of starting 10 things. We'll see how that goes. Maybe on January 1 I can even make NEW resolutions instead of writing the same ones out again.
Oh, and the other thing I did that I wanted to? I wrote again this month.